I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
