it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
