You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
