god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
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