I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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