Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
