I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
BRING THE BAGELS
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Randomize
