I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
