she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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