I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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