We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
