Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Randomize
