How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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