Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
