I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
