If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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