He is like the real live version of the state fair..
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
