I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Randomize
