i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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