I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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