I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
