Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
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