He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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