it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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