Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
