: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
