Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
