Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
