i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
