coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize