She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
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