Pants 0. Shit 1.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
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