summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
