5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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