I love black thongs
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
