Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
