I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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