About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
