What a fucking waste of an outfit
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
