worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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