After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
