well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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