One girl and one boy is just not enough.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
