Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
