He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Randomize
