your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Boobs speak an international language.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
