that's an acceptable place to lick
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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