Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(802): View more from Vermont

he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him

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(330): View more from Ohio

Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.

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(336): View more from North Carolina

i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter

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(662): View more from Mississippi

We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.

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(207): View more from Maine

Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.

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(972): View more from Texas

I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.

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(515): View more from Iowa

We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"

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