he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
