dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
