I don't think brook has ever known best
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
