talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
