i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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