That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
