That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
