she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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