Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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