i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize