What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
