I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
